今天小編為大家?guī)硪黄P(guān)于公雞的英語幽默小故事，在一個小小的愛爾蘭村莊中，牧師非常地喜愛雞舍中的小雞，然而有一天，公雞不見了……怎么回事呢？一起看看吧

The Reason of Being Late eacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning? Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'. 遲到的原因 老　師：約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到？ 約翰尼：每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過學(xué)校附近的拐角處，就見路牌上寫著‘學(xué)校－緩行’。

想在笑聲中學(xué)習(xí)英語嗎？小編為你帶來了英語幽默小故事，讓你在歡樂中學(xué)習(xí)哦！

[en]Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!![/en][cn]杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生?！搬t(yī)生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了！”“給我一年時間，”醫(yī)生說，“每周來三次，我會治好你?！薄百M(fèi)用是多少呢？”“每次一百美元?！薄拔視J(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢？”醫(yī)生問?！耙淮我话賶K錢嗎？有個酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了?！薄罢娴?？他怎么做到的？”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉?，F(xiàn)在那沒人了！”[/cn] 　

It’s Good to Admit a Fault John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. “John!” Teacher says angrily. “What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken. “Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says. “No one is laughing.” Teacher says. “No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset. “Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it. 認(rèn)錯 約翰并不是個“好”學(xué)生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。 “約翰！”老師生氣地喊他。 “什么？出什么事了？”約翰醒了。 “你為什么要做鬼臉？這是教室！看看！同學(xué)們都在笑！”老師生氣地說。 “沒有人在笑呀。”其他同學(xué)笑聲地嘀咕。 “不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。 “嗯，還不錯。你承認(rèn)自己的錯誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。

理他。 I really like him and I want to get to know him better, but he keeps blowing me off. 我真的很喜歡他，也想進(jìn)一步了解他， 可是他老晾著我。 2. brush sb. off /br??/ 這個短語不僅僅表示不理對方，而且態(tài)度還極為簡單粗暴，想趕緊把人家打發(fā)走。 I asked him for help, but he just brushed me off. 我請他幫忙，結(jié)果他不理我。 3. cross sb. out 如果單是說“cross out”，這個短語就是“刪除”的意思，可是用在人的情緒上，就是“不搭理某人”。 He always makes jokes on me, so I am crossing him out. 他總是拿我開玩笑，我就不搭理他了。 4. give sb. the cold shoulder 給別人“一個冰冷的肩膀”，意思是雖然你倆認(rèn)識，但是你的態(tài)度很冷漠，對人家不理不睬。 Most of the other professors gave him the cold shoulder. 其他大部分的教授都怎么不愛搭理他。 5. ignore sb. ignore是動詞“不理”的意思，ignore sb. 表示忽略某人、假裝看不到的意思。 If he tries to start an argument,just ignore him. 如果他想挑事兒，甭理他。 6. look right through sb. 這個短語不是說你看穿了誰，而是要表達(dá)你當(dāng)某人是空氣，不予理會。 He tried to engage the woman next to him in conversation,but she looked right through him. 他總想跟旁邊的女人搭訕，但人家卻視他如無物。 conversation /?k?nv??se??n/ n. 交談，會話 冷戰(zhàn)用英語怎么說?文中應(yīng)該告訴大家了吧!你已經(jīng)學(xué)會了嗎?如果您對英語學(xué)習(xí)感興趣，想要深入學(xué)習(xí)，可以了解滬江網(wǎng)校精品課程，量身定制高效實(shí)用的個性化學(xué)習(xí)方案，專屬督導(dǎo)全程伴學(xué)，掃一掃領(lǐng)200暢學(xué)卡。

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了?！?“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”

[en]Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?[/en][cn]老師：如果我把一塊牛排切成兩半的兩半，我能得到幾塊兒?[/cn] [en]Tommy: Quarters.[/en][cn]湯米：四塊。[/cn] [en]Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?[/en][cn]老師：那我要是再切兩次，我能得到什么呢?[/cn] [en]Tommy: Hamburger.[/en][cn]湯米：漢堡。[/cn] 　

Count Tomorrow Morning It’s a right. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I’m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上數(shù) 這是一個晚上。約翰抬頭看著天空。 湯姆是約翰的弟弟。他問約翰：“你在干什么？” 約翰說：“我在數(shù)星星?！?湯姆笑著說：“現(xiàn)在天空太黑了。你為什么不等到明天早上再數(shù)呢？”

今天小編為大家?guī)硪粋€關(guān)于鹿的腳印的英語幽默小故事，兩個律師一同去打獵。有一次，他們倆發(fā)現(xiàn)了一連串腳印，于是仔細(xì)檢查起來，這到底是什么鹿的腳印呢？一起看看吧