他們回家，這時(shí)候，一輛消防車呼嘯而過(guò)。在消防車的前座上有一只達(dá)爾馬提亞犬。于是孩子們開始討論這只狗的職責(zé)可能是什么。 “他們用它來(lái)讓人們離得遠(yuǎn)一點(diǎn)，”一個(gè)小孩說(shuō)到。 “不，”另一個(gè)說(shuō)，“它是用來(lái)求好運(yùn)的?！?這時(shí)候第三個(gè)小孩說(shuō)?！皠e傻了，其實(shí)他們是想用用這狗來(lái)找

[en]A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.[/en] [cn]一只瞎眼的兔子和一只瞎眼的蛇相遇了。它們倆都知道自己是什么動(dòng)物，但不知道對(duì)方是什么，于是它們都決定試試對(duì)方[/cn] [en]The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down? Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle. 媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的？ 湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖動(dòng)瓶子了

[en]A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.[/en] [cn]一個(gè)女孩去拜訪她的金發(fā)朋友，這個(gè)朋友最近養(yǎng)了兩只“狗”，于是女孩問道：“它們叫什么名字呀？”[/cn] [en]The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.[/en] [cn]金發(fā)朋友說(shuō)，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。[/cn] [en]Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?[/en] [cn]女孩說(shuō)：“哪有狗狗叫這個(gè)名字的?！盵/cn] [en]"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"[/en] [cn]“那個(gè)……”金發(fā)朋友說(shuō)?！八麄兪潜O(jiān)視器！”[/cn] 注： watch dog：監(jiān)視器

? An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would believe him. 一位貪婪的鴨子獵手想在市場(chǎng)上買只新的捕鳥的狗。當(dāng)看見一只狗能在水上走路然后抓住鴨子時(shí)，他決定：就是它了。這實(shí)在是太新奇了，他覺得應(yīng)該沒有哪個(gè)朋友會(huì)相信他吧。 He decided to try to break the news to his most skeptical friend, inviting him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by; they fired, and a duck fell. 他首先向一個(gè)最容易懷疑的朋友發(fā)布了這個(gè)消息，帶上狗邀請(qǐng)這位朋友和他一同打獵。他們?cè)诤影哆叺却蝗灰蝗壶喿语w過(guò)，他們開槍了，于是有一只野鴨掉了下來(lái)。 The dog responded. It did not sink, but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. 狗動(dòng)起來(lái)了。它沒有沉下去，而是走在水上去叼鴨子，連爪子都沒濕。 The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. 這位朋友目睹了這一切，不發(fā)一語(yǔ)。 On the drive home the hunter finally broke the silence, asking, “Well, what do you think of my new dog?” 回家的時(shí)候，獵人打破了沉默，問道：“你覺得這只狗怎么樣?。俊?The other guy was quiet for a moment, then said, “Can’t swim, huh?” 朋友沉默了一會(huì)，說(shuō)道：“它不會(huì)游泳，對(duì)吧？”

中了服務(wù)員，站起來(lái)準(zhǔn)備走。“嘿！”經(jīng)理叫道，“你還想去哪？你打中了我的服務(wù)員而且你沒付錢！”[/cn] [en]The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"[/en] [cn]熊貓也叫道：“誒你怎么回事啊，我是熊貓！看清楚?。　盵/cn] [en]The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."[/en] [cn]經(jīng)理打開字典，查到了熊貓的定義：“一種住在樹上的有袋類亞洲動(dòng)物，以分明的黑色和白色皮毛為特征。吃樹根和樹葉。”[/cn]

Barbara Bush?"[/en][cn]她丈夫抱怨說(shuō):“你什么時(shí)候才能停止買那些昂貴的東西，而讓你的頭發(fā)長(zhǎng)成像芭芭拉.布什(總統(tǒng)夫人)的頭發(fā)那樣灰白呢?”[/cn] [en]"The day that you're inaugurated,"the wife replied.“[/en][cn]那就要等到你就職的那天了?！逼拮诱f(shuō)。[/cn] 　

從笑話中學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)，輕松自在，讓你充滿自信、左右逢源。一起來(lái)看看今天的幽默笑話故事：漂亮的結(jié)婚禮物

Put your feet in The school girl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!" 把腳放進(jìn)去 一個(gè)女學(xué)生坐在座位上，嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發(fā)現(xiàn)了。“瑪麗！”老師嚴(yán)厲地叫她?！笆?span style="color: #fe6016">么事，老師？”這女學(xué)生問?！鞍芽谙闾菑淖炖锬贸鰜?lái)，把腳放進(jìn)去?！?

解釋他們?cè)陲堭^里吃飯的怪現(xiàn)象時(shí)說(shuō):“服務(wù)員從未承認(rèn)過(guò)他們沒有什么萊。假如你想要一份太陽(yáng)，他們也會(huì)拿著菜單離去，好像真能給你弄來(lái)似的。然后，他們回來(lái)說(shuō)這道菜剛賣完?！睘榱俗C明這一點(diǎn)，我說(shuō):“請(qǐng)來(lái)一份恐龍?！盵/cn] [en]To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”?[/en][cn]“好的，先生，”服務(wù)員回答說(shuō):“您要的恐龍是做得嫩點(diǎn)還是老點(diǎn)兒的?”[/cn] [en]“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"[/en][cn]“老點(diǎn)兒的?！盵/cn]