[en]Three competing store owners rented adjoining(毗連的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的傷害罪，蓄意的破壞) to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts! The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.[/en][cn] 三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪，旁觀者等著瞧好戲。 右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：大減價!特便宜! 左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：大砍價!大折扣! 中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：入口處。子付帳。“零錢不用找了?！彼f。[/cn]

[en]Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?[/en][cn]你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安? 老師發(fā)問道。[/cn] [en]A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.[/en][cn]把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。 小女孩回答道。[/cn]

[en]Teacher: Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?[/en][cn]老師: clyde, 你的作文"我的狗狗"里寫的東西和你哥哥寫得一模一樣. 你是不是抄襲了他的?[/cn] [en]Clyde : No sir, it’s the same dog.[/en][cn]Clyde: 不是這樣的,老師! 我們倆養(yǎng)的是同一只狗狗.[/cn] ?

[en]George comes from school on the first of September. George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....[/en][cn]9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。 喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。 媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。[/cn]

[en]Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.[/en][cn]在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名準(zhǔn)備買東西的顧客發(fā)生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。[/cn] [en]I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.[/en][cn]大的美女編輯們我指出這本書保存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳?！傲沐X不用找了?！彼f。?[/cn]

[en]Once there was a blind.?[/en][cn]從前有個瞎子。[/cn] [en]One day when he was walking, he?stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping.?[/en][cn]一天，他正在行路時踩著了一只正在睡覺的狗的腦袋[/cn] [en]The dog barked for a while.[/en][cn]狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。[/cn] [en]The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's

[en]A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"[/en] [cn]一個小孩問他的父親：“爸爸，上帝是男人還是女人？”[/cn] [en]"Both son. God is both."[/en] [cn]“他二者皆是，孩子，上帝二者皆是?！盵/cn] [en]After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"[/en] [cn]過了一會，孩子又問：“爸爸，上帝是黑人還是白人？”[/cn] [en]"Both

有個朋友來加拿大第一次去吃牛排，服務(wù)員問How would you like your steak done? 我朋友沒一聽懂，就聽別人點的時候說medium , 他就想“我不能跟他們學(xué)” 他就跟服務(wù)員說，large please. 服務(wù)員一愣，說sorry we don’t have that.? 然后他又說，small please. 服務(wù)員又嚇了一跳，說sorry we don’t have that. 他身邊的朋友著急了，告訴他，人家問你牛排要幾分熟。 他隨口就說80%。 服務(wù)員又一愣說，sorry we don’t have that……

[en]A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?[/en][cn]一個有六個孩子的人和一個有600萬美元的人，誰更滿足?為什么?[/cn] ??? [en]The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.[/en][cn]當(dāng)然是有六個孩子的那個，因為有600萬美元那個還想要得更多。[/cn]

[en]Dusk, I jog in the road industry. Have a young man ran up from behind me, in my ear hastily cried: "Run!" "What happened?" I ask young people around him. "Ran quickly." Young people go in front of me. My rapid recovery of the 500 meters after the breathless questions: "What happened in the end?" "You run too slow." Young people leaving me, a big move back and forth.[/en][cn]黃昏的時候，我在產(chǎn)業(yè)道路上慢跑。有一個年輕人從我后面跑上來，在我耳邊急促地叫著：“快跑！”“發(fā)生了什么事？”我問身旁的年輕人?！摆s快跑。”年輕人跑到我的前面。我快速的追了五百公尺以后，氣喘吁吁的追問：“到底發(fā)生了什么事？”“你跑得太慢了?！蹦贻p人丟下我，自顧自往前跑去。?[/cn]