1. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there’s your diamond in the rough.
1．任何人都可以因他滿頭的秀發(fā)而自信。但是自信的光頭，就像雜草堆里的鉆石。

2. “No comment” is a comment.
2．“無可奉告”就是一條奉告。

3. Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
3．失眠是我最大的靈感來源。

4. You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies - all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.
4．你知道你的問題出在哪兒嗎？你看得電影不夠多，生活中的所有困惑都能在電影里找到答案。

5. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
5．醫(yī)生先是告訴我有一個好消息：有一種疾病將以我的名字命名。

6. Why is it we don’t always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?* As Harris K. Telemacher in “L.A. Story” (1991)
6．為什么我們總是意識不到愛情何時開始，卻總是知道何時結(jié)束？* 就像《L.A 故事》中的哈里斯.K.特勒馬西（1991）史蒂文.科比爾名言

7. “To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush? I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I’m a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough? Somebody shoot me in the face.”-Roasting Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ dinner
7．“和我的偶像喬治.布什共進(jìn)晚餐嗎？我會感覺像是在做夢。有人會掐我，但是你知道嗎。這可不夠，我的夢可不容易醒，得有人在我頭上狠狠敲一下。”

8. On this show, your voice will be heard - in the form of my voice.
8．在這個節(jié)目里你的聲音將被傳達(dá)，當(dāng)然了，是用我的聲音。

9. There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
9．在美國人們常說這樣一句話：“我們將一切交給上帝”，這正是上帝想要的：我們的錢。

10. Folks, the President needs a break. He’s like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil vacuum. If you don’t recharge his batteries, he can’t suck.
10．伙計們，我們的總統(tǒng)需要休息一下，就像百德公司的吸污天使牌無繩吸塵器，你不給他充電就沒法吸臟東西了。

　　
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