看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看范例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

拔苗助長：

寫作原文

As is vividly unfolded in the caricature,A(改為a) little boy is required to finish reading a mass of books which are even higher than his height by his father(此處作者想用by his father表達什么含義?建議去掉),whose facial expression implies that he is rather unwilling and (改為In) the picture,there is a book called lly,It is(注意標點及大小寫的正確使用，建議作者改為“, which is generally”)read by (首字母大寫) drawer aims to reveal a symbolic meaning that parents should cultivate children according to his(改為their) aptitude,instead of blind notion of education.In contemporary society,the number of students who suffer from cram school(改為schools) and the pressure of their parents(句子層次混亂，建議加“, which改為定語從句”)has increased at an alarming rate.Careful deliberation of this phenomenon has illustrated me on why this should be so(表達不準確，改為There are numerous reasons why exists this phenomenon, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here).Fierce competition,in the first place,constitues(拼寫錯誤，改為consists) one of the primary reasons.According to a recent survey made by sina,there are one million students choose to pursue a master degree after graduation.Attending cram school(改為schools) will lay a foundation for future development.Convergent thinking existing in the society is also the breeding ground for this trend.This undesirable general mood of society will eventually result(改為results) in being devoid of innovation.If there is no compelling interference to revease(拼寫錯誤，改為reverse) this trend,our country is bound to be influenced adversely.To be specific,It(小寫) will lack innovative talent,be short of the motion to accelerate,(改為be short of the motivation to promote the development of economy)and ultimately be detrimental to building up a suststainable(拼寫錯誤，改為sustainable)development society.In terms of my personal experience,It(小寫)is urgent and imperative to take counter measures.For one thing, the public media should advocate and propagandize the notion of divergent thinking,which will be conducive to one’s personal growth and core competitive power.For another,students should foster a desirable life philosophy.If we can implement as the above mentioned,the promising future can be well guaranteed.

總體點評

文章采用經(jīng)典的三段式結(jié)構(gòu)進行闡述，重點突出，條理清晰；但還存在一些簡單的語法錯誤。作者在寫作完之后若可以花費幾分鐘時間來回讀文章，便會減少不必要的錯誤?？佳凶魑牡恼w思路你已經(jīng)基本掌握，后面要做的就是多積累高分佳句，加強句子成分的分析。寫完之后一定要認真檢查，減少失分點。

參考分數(shù)(滿分20分)：12

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了范文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高。

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