【雅思寫作】十大常見錯(cuò)誤透析(下)
不間斷句子(run-on sentences)
什么叫不間斷句子,請看下面的例子:
1. There are many ways we get to know the outside world.
分析:
這個(gè)句子包含了2層完整的意思“There are many ways”以及“we get to know the outside world”,簡單地把它們連在一起就不妥當(dāng)了。
改為:There are many ways for us to get to know the outside world.或者There are many ways through which we can become acquainted with the outside world.
措辭毛?。╰roubles in diction)
措辭是指在特定的句子中如何恰當(dāng)?shù)剡x用詞語的問題,由于很多因素的制約,比如上課時(shí)間有限,老師在這方面作的指導(dǎo)相對來說就比較少,因此導(dǎo)致了學(xué)生在平時(shí)寫作中沒有養(yǎng)成良好的推敲,斟酌的習(xí)慣。他們往往隨心所欲,拿來就用。所以作文中措辭不當(dāng)?shù)牡胤奖缺冉允牵?/p>
1. The increasing use of chemical obstacles in agriculture also makes pollution.
(農(nóng)業(yè)中不斷增加的化學(xué)物質(zhì)的使用也造成了污染)
分析:
顯然,考生把“obstacles”“障礙物”當(dāng)做“物質(zhì)”來使用了,另外,“the increasing use”(不斷增加的使用)應(yīng)該改為“abusive use”(濫用)。
改為:The abusive use of chemical substance in agriculture also leads to pollution.
累贅(redundancy)
建議考生們在寫作中語言以簡潔為貴,寫句子沒有一個(gè)多余的詞;寫段落沒有一個(gè)無必要的句子。能用單詞的不用詞組;能用詞組的不用從句或者句子,如:
1. In spite of the fact that he is lazy, I like him.
分析:
本句中的“In spite of the fact that he is lazy”是同位語從句,按照我們上面說的能用詞組不用從句,
改為:In spite of his laziness, I like him.
2. For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thing to be used to buy the things they need.
分析:
整個(gè)句子太羅嗦,可以大大簡化:
改為:Diligent, caring people use money only to buy things they need.
不連貫(incoherence)
不連貫是指一個(gè)句子前言不搭后語,或者是結(jié)構(gòu)上不暢通,這也是考生經(jīng)常犯的錯(cuò)誤之一。如:
1. The fresh water, it is the most important things in the world.
分析:
“the fresh water”與逗號后的it不連貫,it與things在數(shù)方面不一致。
改為:The fresh water is the most important thing in the world.
綜合性語言錯(cuò)誤(comprehensive misusage)
所謂綜合性語言錯(cuò)誤是指在雅思寫作中除了上述10種錯(cuò)誤外的諸如時(shí)態(tài),語態(tài),標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號,大小寫等錯(cuò)誤。如:
1. Today money to everyone is very importance, our’s cloths, live, eat, go etc.
分析:
“our”是人稱代詞的所有格形式,可以單獨(dú)作形容詞使用,沒必要使用’s形式,而且后面應(yīng)該跟名詞。
改為:Today money to everyone is very important, for example, our eating, clothing, living, going ,etc.
了解了上述常見錯(cuò)誤后,就帶大家通過幾篇考生的雅思范文,來深入了解這些錯(cuò)誤發(fā)生的頻率和改進(jìn)這些錯(cuò)誤后會(huì)給文章帶來的質(zhì)的改變:
例一:
Writing task 1 (Cambridge 1- page 51):
The diagram shows the process of collecting information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts in Australia Bureau of Meteorology. It can be clearly seen that information goes through three main stages until it can be broadcast. These stages are incoming information, analysis and forecasting, preparing the broadcast and finally, broadcast.
As it is shown in the diagram, first, information is gathered via satellite, radar, and drifting buoy. The information from satellite is transmitted to radar. Satellite, itself, takes photos. All the information provided by these three tools are integrated into satellite photos, radar screen, and synoptic charts. Then, they are analyzed and forecast. This information is sent to computers in order to prepare the broadcast. Finally, up-to-date information is broadcast via TV, radio, and recorded announcement.
In conclusion, the diagram shows that there are various stages in preparing and
broadcast of latest news on the weather and that radar has a fundamental role in gathering data. Also, the most comprehensive information is obtained from synoptic charts.