最后一圈
The Last Lap

何為
He Wei

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

70年代后期,收閱蕭乾同志的一封信,他說“要跑好人生的最后一圈”。當(dāng)時怦然有所觸動,一直記得這句話。年前讀他的《八十自省》一文,自謂“這一圈跑了大半,離終點不會太遠(yuǎn)了”。更是令人感慨萬千,不勝惆悵。算一下他的最后一圈,長達(dá)十余年,很長,也很有成績,殊堪慶幸。以他的堅毅頑強和曠達(dá),其“終點”線設(shè)在21世紀(jì),是完全可預(yù)期的。
Back in the late 1970s, I received a letter from Xiao Qian (1), in which he said, “I shouldn’t slacken off on this last lap of my life.” I was deeply touched and have remembered his words to this day. Last year, when I read his I’m an Octogenarian, in which he said, “Having covered more than half of this lap, I’m now close to the finishing line,” I was even more touched and seized with a feeling of sadness. To my great delight, however, his last lap, having lasted, as I figure out, for more than a decade now, is very long and fruitful. Judging by his strong will and broad-mindedness, the finishing line should undoubtedly be somewhere in the coming 21st century.

要點
1,“蕭乾”是名人,適當(dāng)備注有助于讀者的理解,所以采用加腳注的方法
2,“要跑好人生的最后一圈”譯為I shouldn’t slacken off on this last lap of my life.譯者采用反面敘述的方法,其中slacken off 作“松勁”,“懈怠”講。此句也可從正面譯為I should make a success of this last lap of my life.
3,“《八十自省》”譯為I’m an Octogenarian,其中Octogenarian意為“八旬老人”,書中還給出另一種譯法,為I’ve Completed My 80th Birthday.
4,“感慨萬千,不勝惆悵”中的“感慨萬千”意即“感觸頗深”譯為I was even more touched,“不勝惆悵”即“十分傷感”譯為(be)seized with a feeling of sadness.

綜述:何為的作品一般簡潔明了,語言錘煉,感情真切,自然流露,翻譯時切記“假大空”。

從人生道路上的最后一圈,想到馬拉松超長距賽跑。古希臘人在馬拉松地方戰(zhàn)勝敵軍,一名士兵為了迅速傳遞捷報,一鼓作氣跑畢四萬二千一百九十五米的路程,到了雅典后就力竭死去。他帶去勝利的信息,他又是長途跋涉的勝利者,后人將這一距離的競賽項目稱為馬拉松賽跑,作為紀(jì)念。
Meanwhile, the last lap of human life has reminded me of the marathon race. According to legend, when the ancient Greeks defeated the invaders at Marathon (2), a Greek soldier is believed to have run nonstop from Marathon to Athens, a distance of 42, 195 metres, to announce the Athenian victory at the battlefield. Unfortunately, after making the announcement, he dropped dead from exhaustion. He was not only the courier carrying news of the Greek victory, but also the winner of the record journey. Now the long-distance foot race of the same distance has been named after the Battle of Marathon to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier.

要點
1,“古希臘人在馬拉松地方戰(zhàn)勝敵軍……”是一個傳說,因此增譯According to legend,下文增譯“is believed to”也一樣,同legend相呼應(yīng)。
2,“一鼓作氣跑畢四萬二千一百九十五米的路程,到了雅典…”轉(zhuǎn)化說法,即“他一鼓作氣從戰(zhàn)場跑回了雅典,全程…米”譯為to have run nonstop from Marathon to Athens, a distance of 42, 195 metres, 這樣比較符合英語行文的習(xí)慣,“一鼓作氣”即“沒有停頓”譯為nonstop。
3,“他帶去勝利的信息,他又是長途跋涉的勝利者,后人將這一距離的競賽項目稱為馬拉松賽跑,作為紀(jì)念?!辈捎梅肿g法,譯為He was not only the courier carrying news of the Greek victory, but also the winner of the record journey. Now the long-distance foot race of the same distance has been named after the Battle of Marathon to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier. 其中“作為紀(jì)念”意即“紀(jì)念該希臘士兵的傳奇功績”,故譯為to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier。

綜述:本段有兩個大長句,注意譯者是如何將其拆分組合形成符合英語行文習(xí)慣的句子。

馬拉松賽跑是考驗人的意志和力量的競技運動。長跑者在同一起跑線出發(fā)。一眼望不到盡頭的跑道上,強者與弱者的差距逐漸拉開。最后一圈是拼搏的時刻。第一個到達(dá)終點的優(yōu)勝者,迎來陣陣掌聲和熱烈歡呼,屏幕上閃耀著他創(chuàng)造的記錄。
The marathon race is a sports event testing man’s endurance and strength. Runners start from the same starting line and on the seemingly endless track the gap gradually widens between the strong and the weak. The last lap always witnesses the runners going all out to win success. The first to reach the finishing line is showered with warm applause and acclamation while the new record he or she has created is flashing across the screen.

要點:
1,“人的意志”即“人的耐力”不宜譯為willpower,可譯為man’s endurance
2,“一眼望不到盡頭的”=seemingly endless
3,“最后一圈是拼搏的時刻”即“最后一圈是長跑者們鼓足干勁奪取勝利的時刻”,譯為The last lap always witnesses the runners going all out to win success,go all out 意為“鼓足干勁,銳意進取”也可用exert oneself to

綜述:“最后一圈是拼搏的時刻。第一個到達(dá)終點的優(yōu)勝者,迎來陣陣掌聲和熱烈歡呼,屏幕上閃耀著他創(chuàng)造的記錄。”注意最后一句的主語與前面的不同,要進行轉(zhuǎn)換。

然而,跑道上也有這樣的場面:拖著疲憊不堪的雙腿,苦苦掙扎著,搖搖欲墜幾乎昏厥的身子,終于奮力沖過封鎖線,那是多么激動人心的時刻!縱或是最后一名,也是一位勝利者,同樣贏得熱情的鼓勵和贊許的掌聲。人們?yōu)殚L跑者堅忍不拔的精神深深感動了。
Nevertheless, we also see this moving scene: An exhausted runner, dragging a pair of weary feet and staggering as though about to fall into a faint, barely managers at long last to hit the finishing line after a desperate struggle. Oh, what a stirring moment! He may be the last, yet he is also a winner. He likewise deserves spectators’ warm encouragement and approving applause. People are deeply moved by his tenacity.

要點
1,“拖著疲憊不堪的雙腿,苦苦掙扎著,搖搖欲墜幾乎昏厥的身子,終于奮力沖過封鎖線……”首先要增主語An exhausted runner,其次要看句子間的關(guān)系,即“長跑者拖著雙腿和身子苦苦掙扎后終于通過了終點”,譯者將其譯為barely managers at long last to hit the finishing line after a desperate struggle(很少有人在苦苦掙扎后能夠堅持到最后),突出了跑者的艱辛。

人的一生好比馬拉松賽跑。人人都有最后一圈,這一圈通常屬于人生道路漫長的老人。七老八十的人,穿過艱難的世途,穿過蕓蕓眾生,穿過重重障礙,于是到了人生的最后一圈。
Human life can be likened to the marathon race. All people, especially the aged who have already seen much of life, have the last lap. Septuagenarians and octogenarians are on the last lap of their lives after experiencing the twists and turns of life’s journey, meeting human beings of all descriptions and going through one obstacle after another.

要點
1,“七老八十的人”譯為Septuagenarians and octogenarians。
2,“艱難的世途”譯為the twists and turns of life’s journey,twists and turns 通常做“曲折變化”“艱難”講,是翻譯中的常用詞。
3,“蕓蕓眾生”即“眾人,各種各樣的人”譯為human beings of all descriptions。
4,“重重障礙”即one obstacle after another。

這一圈路程有長有短,跑得有快有慢。有的人穩(wěn)健有力,從容不迫;有的人歪歪扭扭,步子不正;有的人拖拖沓沓,蹣跚不前。也有跑入歪道的人,或跑不快還要擋道的人,或不按競賽規(guī)則亂跑的人,都是注定要失敗的。誰能跑好這最后一圈,誰就是勝利者。
The last lap may be long or short; the runners may be fast or slow. Some may run with firm and steady steps and self-possession; some may run very unsteadily and out of step; some may be sluggish with faltering steps. What is worse, some may resort to dishonest practices; some, being slow themselves, may purposely stand in the way of others; some may run without adhering to the rules of the competition. Such people are doomed to failure.Whoever acquits himself well on the last lap is a winner.

要點
1,“從容不迫”= self-possession(沉著冷靜)
out of step意即“步子不協(xié)調(diào)”
2,“有的人拖拖沓沓,蹣跚不前”即“有的人步伐不穩(wěn)拖拖拉拉”譯為some may be sluggish with faltering steps
3,“跑入歪道的人”即“從事不法或不道德的事情的”譯為resort to dishonest practices
4,acquits oneself well 意為“表現(xiàn)好”如Indeed, Celtic have shown more than once they are able to acquit themselves very well, just as their fans who always help them a lot.當(dāng)然,凱爾特人隊已經(jīng)不止一次展示了他們自己的實力,就像他們的球迷那天,幫助他們很多。

綜述:這兩段主要就是四字詞的理解和翻譯,注意有些四字詞雖然中文形式上并列,但其意思并不是并列的,翻譯時要照顧意思,小詞的使用也值得注意,對于這類情感真摯,突出細(xì)節(jié)的文章,小詞的使用是必不可少的。
(1)??? Xiao Qian (1910-1999), famous writer, journalist and translator of literary works.
(2)??? Marathon, Village of ancient Greece, on the east coast of Attica, some 25 miles northeast of Athens.?

聲明:本雙語文章的中文評析系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處。中文評析僅代表作者個人觀點,如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。