蟋蟀
The Cricket

吳冠中
Wu Guangzhong

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》

鬢發(fā)斑斑,仍總是忙碌,城中天天忙于無(wú)窮事,未有余閑品味童年捉蟋蟀的回憶。然而居室里突然聽到了蟋蟀的叫聲,我和老伴都感驚喜,高樓里哪來(lái)的蟋蟀?那聲音似乎發(fā)自廚房的一角,我想可能是老伴買蔬菜時(shí)夾帶回來(lái)的。
Grey-templed as I'm, I still always keep myself occupied. Everyday I bustle about town having little time to indulge in pleasant reminiscences of how I used to catch crickets in my childhood. One day, however, my wife and I were pleasantly surprised by the sudden chirping of a cricket in our apartment. How did it get into this tall building? As the sound seemed to come from a corner of our kitchen, I guessed it had probably come with the vegetables my wife bought from the food market.

要點(diǎn)
1,“鬢發(fā)斑斑”=grey- templed =grey – haird;另“忙碌”的新表達(dá)keep oneself preoccupied
2,”然而…“譯為one day , however…或the other day, however …,one day和the other day是增益成分,起承上啟下的作用
3,“高樓里哪來(lái)的蟋蟀”即“這聲音是如何進(jìn)到大樓里的?“譯為How did it get into this tall building?
4,“那聲音似乎發(fā)自廚房的一角,我想可能是老伴買蔬菜時(shí)夾帶回來(lái)的?!皟删溆须[含的因果關(guān)系,譯為As the sound seemed to come from a corner of our kitchen, I guessed it had probably come with the vegetables my wife bought from the food market.

綜述
本段語(yǔ)言表述上并不難,注意上述幾點(diǎn)即可

星期天,小孫女小曲來(lái)家,吃晚飯的時(shí)候,蟋蟀又高叫起來(lái),一聲高于一聲,清脆響亮,仿佛是鳴奏。小曲高興極了,飯也不吃了,要捉蟋蟀。我找來(lái)手電,順著叫聲到廚房角落里撥開掃帚、殘菜、剩羹、廢紙、舊瓶……一直清理到自來(lái)水管道周圍濕漉漉的水泥地面,果然一只肥大的蟋蟀伏在那里。用手電照準(zhǔn)它,它一動(dòng)也不動(dòng),我輕易地將它捉住了。全家歡騰起來(lái),我將蟋蟀放進(jìn)裝顏料用的硬紙匣里,交給小曲。小曲說(shuō)她要看著蟋蟀叫,她自己找了一個(gè)半透明的小塑料瓶,將蟋蟀裝入瓶里,觀賞這可憐的小俘虜團(tuán)團(tuán)轉(zhuǎn)。她奶奶怕蟋蟀窒死,用剪刀將塑料瓶戮了幾個(gè)透氣的小洞。
On Sunday, when our youngest granddaughter Xiao Qu was with us, the cricket started chirping again at supper time with a rising clear and loud sound like in a performance. Xiao Qu was overjoyed and stopped eating as she was eager to catch the insect. Torch in hand, I found my way to a corner of the kitchen by tracing the sound and then cleared away everything in the way, like brooms, discarded outer leaves of vegetables, leftovers, waster paper, used empty bottles, etc. until my eyes fell on a big cricket on the damp cement floor near a water pipe. It stayed still as I lit it up with the torch. So I got it easily. The whole family was wild with joy. I put into an empty colour-tube cardboard box and handed it to my granddaughter. But she said she wanted to have it kept in a transparent container so that she could see it chirp. Then she found a plastic bottle and happily watched the pitiable little captive therein moving about in panic. Her grandma, however, fearing that the cricket might suffocate, punctured a few holes in the plastic bottle with a pair of scissors.

要點(diǎn)
1,“一聲高于一聲,清脆響亮,仿佛是鳴奏“其中,譯者將”一聲高于一聲“與”清脆響亮“合譯為with a rising clear and loud sound,使得譯文也因簡(jiǎn)潔而顯得樸實(shí),貼近原文風(fēng)格
2,“我找來(lái)手電,順著叫聲到廚房角落里撥開掃帚、殘菜、剩羹、廢紙、舊瓶…”譯為Torch in hand, I found my way to a corner of the kitchen by tracing the sound and then cleared away everything in the way, like brooms, discarded outer leaves of vegetables, leftovers, waster paper, used empty bottles, etc.本段為多動(dòng)詞句,譯者將“找來(lái)手電”譯為介詞短語(yǔ),Torch in hand=with a torch in hand,這種用法十分常見(jiàn),如“(屈原)懷著悲痛的心情,抱了一塊石頭,投汨羅江自殺了?!白g為Overwhelmed with grief and despair,he drown himself in the river,with a large stone in his arms.
3,”… 一直清理到自來(lái)水管道周圍濕漉漉的水泥地面,果然一只肥大的蟋蟀伏在那里”意即“我看到一只蟋蟀伏在自來(lái)水管道周圍濕漉漉的水泥地面上“譯為until my eyes fell on a big cricket on the damp cement floor near a water pipe.承接上句,繼續(xù)以“我”作主語(yǔ),保持主語(yǔ)一致可以使譯文更加流暢,避免了轉(zhuǎn)換主語(yǔ)的繁瑣,“until”意即”最終“

綜述
2,3兩點(diǎn)也可以看作是合譯~

小曲將蟋蟀帶回去了。
Xiao Qu left for home with the cricket.

夜晚屋里特別寂靜,孩子們也都關(guān)門睡覺(jué)了,我和老伴兩人在自己臥室里感到分外孤獨(dú)。似乎是前所未有的孤獨(dú)。老伴埋怨我不該捉掉了蟋蟀!
That night a complete silence reigned in our house. Our children had already gone to bed behind the closed door. My wife and I felt unusually lonesome in our bedroom. She blamed it on my having got rid of the cricket.

夜半,蟋蟀又叫起來(lái)了,呵,原來(lái)不只一只!我和老伴都高興得不想入睡了。我們不由得回憶起我們當(dāng)年住在農(nóng)村老家的日子:古老窗外的星空、螢火蟲星星的亮光、夜鶯的歌喉,自然總有蟋蟀的伴奏……我們的談話沒(méi)完沒(méi)了:父老、鄉(xiāng)親、誰(shuí)家和誰(shuí)家的孩子……這一夜我們似乎遠(yuǎn)離了北京。愿蟋蟀就在我家定居吧!
Late at night, we heard the chirping of a cricket again. Ah, that must be another one! My wife and I were too excited to sleep. We were lost in memories of our child life in our rural home with the starry sky outside the antique window, the glowing of fireflies, the warbling of nightingales, the ever-present accompaniment of crickets' chirrups... We chatted on and on recalling elders at home, fellow villagers, kids in the neighbourhood, and so on and so forth. All the while, we were transported by nostalgia to our old home remote from Beijing. May the cricket settle down permanently under our roof!

要點(diǎn):
1,”分外孤獨(dú)“和“前所未有的孤獨(dú)”基本上傳達(dá)了一個(gè)意思,即unusually lonesome~
2,” 老伴埋怨我不該捉掉了蟋蟀”譯為She blamed it on my having got rid of the cricket.“埋怨某人做某事”=blame sb on sth 可以學(xué)起來(lái)了
3,“原來(lái)不只一只”采取反話正說(shuō),譯為that must be another one!
4,“回憶起”=be lost in memory ;”沒(méi)完沒(méi)了“=on and on
5,“誰(shuí)家和誰(shuí)家的孩子“不宜直譯,意譯為kids in the neighbourhood
6,“這一夜我們似乎遠(yuǎn)離了北京“意為”夜中思鄉(xiāng)之情似乎把我們帶到遠(yuǎn)離北京的故鄉(xiāng)去了“,可以直譯為Throughout the night, we felt as if we were in a place far away from Beijing.然而譯者為我們呈現(xiàn)了另一種譯法we were transported by nostalgia to our old home remote from Beijing,其中be transported into意為“在想象中被帶入”,而nostalgic是文中的增益成分

綜述
本文主要內(nèi)容作者日常生活和感觸,語(yǔ)言平實(shí)簡(jiǎn)單,無(wú)復(fù)雜句式,因此在翻譯時(shí)最好也不要太“文縐縐”了~譯文中出現(xiàn)的一些新表達(dá)值得大家積累~?

聲明:本雙語(yǔ)文章的中文評(píng)析系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文評(píng)析僅代表作者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn),如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。