張培基英譯散文賞析之《西歐的夏天》
| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》
要點:
1,“旅客似乎是十分輕松的人,實際上卻相當辛苦?!弊g為Light-hearted as he seems,a traveler is in fact under great stress.其中“輕松的“還可譯為jiyous joyful cheerful等,但Light-hearted有carefree (無憂無慮)的含義,更加貼合語境,”辛苦“此處即”處于緊張狀態(tài)“譯為under great stress.與前面的Light-hearted形成對比。還要注意本句用第三人稱he來代指“旅客”拉近了與讀者的距離。
2,“旅客不用上班”意即“旅客在度假”或“即使是在假期”譯為Though on vacation/vacationing。比直譯為though he doesn’t go to work 確切。
3,” 愛做什么就做什么,卻必須受錢包的限制”譯為He can do whatever he likes on the trip, but he has to keep the expenditure within the limits of his pocket,“受…的限制”=within the limitation of…
4,”蝸牛殼一般“譯者只取其本質(zhì)含義譯為cumbersome,簡潔生動。
5,“淪為來歷不明的乞丐“譯為which will reduce himself to a pauper of unknown background.其中reduce to 我們在《我坐了木船》等文中見過無數(shù)次了,此處重點看”來歷不明“的譯法除了譯為…of unknown background以外,還可譯為unidentifiable …
綜述:本段值得注意的是:原文連續(xù)用三個排比句說明了旅客在旅行中會遇到的限制。譯文沒有完全按照同等的排比結構進行翻譯 ,而是將三個排比句譯成了三個單句 ,均 用 “ he ”作主語。避免句式重復,也使譯文和原文在結構和內(nèi)容上都做到了基本對應。
要點:
1,“寒暑不侵“即”對各種天氣都不在乎了“或”適應了各種天氣“,譯為I’ve become apathetic to the elements或be indifferent to the change of weather。
2,” 中世紀古堡改裝的旅館”譯為a medieval castle turned hotel,turned 是不及物動詞turn的過去分詞,用作adj。
3,“剛剛黎明“譯為The day is just dawning. dawn原來也可以用作動詞。意為”開始;破曉,天亮“如:The morning dawn fresh and clear after the storm.
The next day dawn somber and gloomy
4,”濕灰灰的云下是蘇格蘭中部荒莽的林木,林外是隱隱的青山”譯為In Central Scotland, there lies under the gray wet clouds a wild wooded region, beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible.這兩個分句出現(xiàn)兩個主語,修飾成分較多,乍看比較混亂,但略作分析便可明了“樹林“是核心詞,應做主語;”濕灰灰的云下“”蘇格蘭中部“作狀語,分別譯為In Central Scotland和under the gray wet clouds,分置于句首和句中;”林外是隱隱的青山“譯為定從,后置,即beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible。
5,厚達尺許(即一尺左右)= one foot on thickness
曉寒襲人(即早上的空氣很冷)= In the chilly air of the early morning
6,“走下回旋長梯像走下古堡之腸“用as或like直接翻譯略顯冗雜,譯者直接將”古堡之腸“轉(zhuǎn)譯為”回旋長梯“的同位語,精簡了句式,也傳達了原文的意思。
7,“野徑“一般意為”人跡稀少的小路“或”冷清的小路“,譯為an unfrequented path。
“尋幽“即”尋找寧靜的美景“譯為in search of secluded places of quiet beauty。
綜述:
本段要注意“曉寒襲人,我坐在厚達尺許的石墻里,穿了一件毛衣“很容易譯為散句,譯者譯為In the chilly air of the early morning, I have to be dressed in a woolen sweater while sitting on a stone wall one foot on thickness.避免了這點。
要點:
1,“從臺灣的定義講來“即”以臺灣的標準“譯為By Taiwan standards。
2,“汗流浹背“= copious perspiration(大量的汗珠)
3,” 晝蟬夜蛙”意即“白天能聽到蟬叫,晚上能聽到蛙鳴“此處譯者為了句式一致,將其名詞化譯為“白天的蟬鳴和夜里的蛙鳴“= daytime chirping(啁啾聲)of cicadas and nightly croaking(哇哇聲) of frogs,使得句式更加簡潔,此外擬聲詞的運用也為譯文增色不少。
4,“只覺得溫曖舒適,并不出汗“因果關系。
5,“例皆不備冷氣“意為”都沒裝空調(diào)“,故譯為are usually not air-conditioned,其中”沒裝空調(diào)“譯者靈活滴將”裝空調(diào)“轉(zhuǎn)為be done的形式,后面又出現(xiàn)的” 均無冷氣“譯為no air-conditioning,這里的air-conditioning作名詞”空調(diào)系統(tǒng)“或”空調(diào)設備“講。
綜述:注意第五點省去動詞的譯法。
要點:
1,“如果你走塞納河邊,風力加上水氣,更需要一件風衣才行?!弊g為When you walk along the Seine, where it is even chillier due to the strong wind coupled with the cold waters, you have to wear a windcheater.其中“風力加上水氣”是“塞納河邊的”狀態(tài),因此用where引導的從句修飾,而“更需要穿”根據(jù)意思轉(zhuǎn)為“不得不穿”來翻譯,也算是貼合原文意思。
2,then承上啟下,無實際意思
3,“地面如此,地下卻又不同。”譯為That’s all for things aboveground. Now things underground.意同… is one thing and…is another。
4,“嫌單衣太薄”和“令人穿不住毛衣”,分別譯為you’ll feel like putting on more,和you feel like taking off your woolen sweater, “嫌太薄”即“想多穿”,“穿不住”即“想脫掉”,這兩個詞都不好翻,但譯者抓住其本質(zhì)含義,以一個feel like準確地表達了原文的意思。
5,“所以地上地下,穿穿脫脫,也頗麻煩?!弊g為Consequently you’ll be annoyed by having to don or doff your clothes now and then, depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground.其中now and then和depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground都是為了充分表達原文意思而增益的部分而增益的部分。
綜述:注意本段的合譯,本篇文章的特色就在于合譯和四字詞的翻譯。