雨前
Praying For Rainfall
何其芳
He Qifang
| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》

中文:
最后的鴿群帶著低弱的笛聲在微風(fēng)里劃一個(gè)圈子后,也消失了。也許是誤認(rèn)這灰暗的凄冷的天空為夜色的來(lái)襲,或是也預(yù)感到風(fēng)雨的將至,遂過(guò)早地飛回它們溫暖的木舍。

英文:
The last flock of pigeons have also gone out of sight after doing their final circling in the soft breeze, the sound of their whistles barely audible. They are hastening back to their warm wooden dovecote earlier than usual perhaps because they have mistaken the bleak leaden sky for nightfall or because of their presentiment of a storm.

要點(diǎn):
1,此題目可譯為Before the Rain, 現(xiàn)按久旱盼甘霖的主題,把它譯為praying for the rain,其中,praying for 的意思是”求“或”祈禱“
2,“帶著低弱的笛聲“譯為the sound of their whistles barely audible,即”勉強(qiáng)能聽(tīng)到“或”幾乎聽(tīng)不到“,譯為faint sound of their whistle也是可以的,張培基中還提供了一種譯法,即the sound of the whistle trailing off, 但我認(rèn)為不如前兩種確切。
3,hasten to someplace意即趕往某地,之前見(jiàn)到過(guò)~
4,誤認(rèn)為=mistaken for

綜述:
本文的妙處在于大量擬人的運(yùn)用。作者托物言志,借景抒情,流露出不滿現(xiàn)實(shí),的心態(tài)。而擬人體現(xiàn)在翻譯中,大部分是通過(guò)動(dòng)詞的運(yùn)用,本段還有presentiment等詞,也給文章增色不少。

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中文:
幾天的陽(yáng)光在柳條上撤下的一抹嫩綠,被塵土埋掩得有憔悴色了,是需要一次洗滌。還有干裂的大地和樹(shù)根也早已期待著雨。雨卻遲疑著。

英文:
The willow twigs, daubed with a light green by several days of sunshine, are now covered all over with the dust and look so sickly that they need to be washed. And the perched soil and tree roots have likewise been dying for rainfall. Yet the rain is reluctant to come down.

要點(diǎn):
1,“幾天的陽(yáng)光在柳條上撤下的一抹嫩綠,被塵土埋掩得有憔悴色了,是需要一次洗滌。“譯為The willow twigs, daubed with a light green by several days of sunshine, are now covered all over with the dust and look so sickly that they need to be washed.此處作者采取了順譯的方法,重點(diǎn)注意譯者對(duì)”灑下“”埋掩“的處理~這句話中的嫩綠也可以直譯為柳條上的枝葉。譯為the light green willow leaves brought on by several days of sunshine now, covered all over with dust ,look so sickly and hence need to be washed.
2,期待著=dying for, 與前文的pray for相呼應(yīng),與主題相呼應(yīng);遲疑著即“不愿意下“=be reluctant to

綜述:
注意譯者對(duì)于細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)的處理,dying for,和be reluctant to,生動(dòng)貼切~

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