About 15 years ago, I was asked to serve on the board of a nonprofit that I had been affiliated with for many years. I chaired a particularly contentious meeting and used a lot of humor to break the tension in a way that defused some of the rancor and allowed us to discuss a difficult topic.
大約15年前,我被任命為一個(gè)非營利組織的董事,我已經(jīng)在這個(gè)組織里工作了很多年。我主持了一場很有爭議的會議,為了能讓大家對一個(gè)棘手的話題展開討論,我使用了很多幽默來打破緊張的局面,緩解雙方敵意。?

After the meeting, a board member that I had known for many years only in the context of this nonprofit came up to me and said, “Thanks, I had no idea that you were funny.”
會議結(jié)束后,一位我在這個(gè)非營利組織里認(rèn)識多年的董事會成員來到我面前說:“謝謝,我不知道你原來很幽默。”

This comment came as a surprise. I love humor. I’m not a world-class comedian by any standards, but I often find moments of levity (or absurdity) in the situations around me and then share them with others (with varying levels of success). But, this nonprofit was a pretty staid place, and there were few situations in which I thought it was appropriate to let that side of my personality shine through.
這個(gè)評價(jià)令人驚訝。我喜歡幽默。但無論從哪方面講,我都算不上世界級喜劇演員。而我總會發(fā)現(xiàn)身邊輕松詼諧(或無厘頭)的時(shí)刻,然后分享給別人(取得了不同程度的成功)。但是,這個(gè)非營利組織是一個(gè)相當(dāng)古板沉悶的地方,能讓我秀出另一面的場合非常少。

I think a similar thing happens to a lot of extroverts out there. Extroversion is one of the Big Five personality characteristics. It reflects people’s motivation to be engaged and visible in social situations. Extroverts like to engage with lots of people, to speak in public, and to be noticed for positive things they are doing in group situations.
我認(rèn)為很多外向的人都經(jīng)歷過類似的事情。外向性是五大人格特征之一。它反映了人們參與和在社交場合中拋頭露面的動(dòng)機(jī)。外向的人喜歡同很多人交往,在公共場合講話,在群體場合做積極的事情來獲得關(guān)注。

However, research on personality consistently demonstrates that the situations people are in have a stronger influence on behavior than the motivation provided by personality traits. That is, most people find a way to act appropriately in social settings.
然而,對人格的研究持續(xù)表明,人們所處情境對行為的影響,比人格特征引發(fā)的動(dòng)機(jī)更強(qiáng)烈。也就是說,大多數(shù)人都是根據(jù)社交環(huán)境而采取適當(dāng)行動(dòng)方式的。

?

WHY YOU HIDE YOUR EXTROVERTED SIDE
為什么你隱藏了外向的一面

Even if you’re an extreme extrovert, you may find that many people in your workplace are unaware of that, particularly early in your career. This may be particularly true for your supervisors. Often, when you first start out in an organization, you have few chances to be the focus of attention.?
即使你是一個(gè)極端外向的人,你也可能會發(fā)現(xiàn),在你工作的地方很多人都沒有意識到這一點(diǎn),尤其是在你的職業(yè)生涯早期的時(shí)候。你的主管,更是如此。通常來說,在你進(jìn)入一個(gè)機(jī)構(gòu)的初期,你幾乎沒有什么機(jī)會成為關(guān)注的焦點(diǎn)。

You are taking orders from others and attending presentations rather than giving them. You may not have a lot of social time with many of the people above you on the food chain either.?
你接受別人的命令去聽演講而不是給別人演講。你可能也沒有很多時(shí)間與食物鏈上端的人交往。

Plus, when you are new to any organization–even in a more senior role–you should listen more than you speak in order to ensure that you understand the workplace and its culture. So, people might not get to know how outgoing you like to be.
此外,當(dāng)你新加入任何一個(gè)組織,即便在高層職位,你也應(yīng)該多傾聽少講話,來確保你對工作場合及其文化的了解。因此,人們可能沒辦法了解你其實(shí)也想跟大家打成一片。


SPEAK UP ABOUT YOUR LOVE OF SPEAKING UP
說出你對表達(dá)的熱愛

There are lots of opportunities for which your extraversion might be a good fit. Having the chance to interact with clients, to give presentations, or to take people to dinner might be something you would thrive on.?
適合你表現(xiàn)出外向一面的機(jī)會有很多。得到與客戶互動(dòng)的機(jī)會、進(jìn)行演講或帶人去吃晚餐可能會是突顯你的機(jī)會。

But, you might not get asked to take on these responsibilities if people don’t know how much you would enjoy them.
但是,如果人們不知道你有多外向,并樂在其中,那么你可能就不會被要求來擔(dān)負(fù)這些責(zé)任。

Which means you need to tell them.
這意味著,你需要告訴他們。

Strange as it may seem, you might need to go out of your way to let your supervisors know how much you enjoy being out in front of people. This is a case where you want to tell people what you want rather than showing them.?
這可能看起來有些奇怪,你可能要想盡辦法,讓你的主管知道,你有多喜歡出現(xiàn)在人們面前。在這種情況下,你要告訴人們你想要的是什么,而不是表現(xiàn)出來。

There is no need to call attention to yourself inappropriately at work just to let people know you enjoy these interactions. Instead, sit down with your supervisor and talk about ways that you might engage more with others as part of your role.
在工作的時(shí)候,你沒有必要做不合時(shí)宜的舉動(dòng)來吸引別人的注意,來刻意地告訴大家你喜歡互動(dòng)。相反,你可以和主管坐下來,聊聊你可以更多與他人互動(dòng)的另一面。

As an added bonus, if you really like public speaking, you may end up looking like a hero. Many people find speaking in public to be stressful and a chore. So, if it fits in your wheelhouse, they will be happy to turn presentation duties over to you.
作為額外的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì),如果你真的喜歡在公眾面前講話,大家可能會覺得你像個(gè)英雄。許多人覺得在公共場合講話有壓力,是件苦差事。所以,如果這件事你很在行,他們會很樂意地把展示的責(zé)任交給你。


翻譯:Claire